


candles glowing, fire raging on

by theoreticlove



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Arguing, F/M, Flight of the Noldor, Goodbyes, Kissing, Well... If You Can Call That A Goodbye
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-12 15:57:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21479017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theoreticlove/pseuds/theoreticlove
Summary: fëanor and nerdanel meet one last time before the flight
Relationships: Fëanor | Curufinwë/Nerdanel
Comments: 7
Kudos: 12





	candles glowing, fire raging on

It has been so long since she’s seen him in their home. But there he is, standing in the doorway, the light from the candles glowing gently against his face. He is thinner than he had been when she had last seen him, his jawline sharper, although perhaps it was a trick of the light, the little light they had.

There is a pleading look in his eyes and she knows instantly what he is asking. She can’t do it.

The wood creaks under her feet as she steps towards him and kisses his cheek.

“Be safe,” she tells him.

His breath hitches and suddenly his arms are around her waist and he is kissing her for the first time since he was exiled. And he smells like smoke and metal and her arms are around his neck and she is kissing him back. 

His lips are dry, parched, but she finds she doesn’t care. He is familiar, and something in her chest is cracking open with the force of how much she loves him. They could fight and fight like they had before the exile for the rest of eternity and she could never stop loving him.

“I love you,” he pleads against her lips, between kisses. “I love you, Nerdanel, _please_.”

Part of her wants to say yes. Part of her wants to stay by his side forever, wants to sail across the Great Sea and go to war with him, simply because he asked. Wants to spend her life next to him, kissing him until she forgets how to breathe.

A tear rolls down her cheek. 

“I can’t,” she replies, and shakes her head against him. 

He pulls back. 

“Why not?” He asks. 

Because the love he claims to have for her, she cannot find outside of last kisses and desperate attempts at convincing her to go with him. Because when she looks at him, she sees his love for her takes a backseat to his anger, his thirst for revenge. Because she will not follow his cursed Oath. 

“I—”

“I know I have not been the husband you deserve. I know. But I will… I will be better, if only you would come with me. Come with us.”

He speaks so beautifully and his words are so tempting.

“Can you be a good husband, having sworn to such violence? Truly?”

“If you would only swear my Oath--”

“I will do no such thing and you know it. I should not have to swear your Oath for you to want to be with me.”

“You’re being unreasonable! If you swear the Oath we can be together again, the nine of us, united as a family! You could come with us!”

“You could stay!”

“There is no reason for you to abandon us!”

Anger shines in his eyes and she takes a step back, tense.

“I am abandoning you?” She asks, incredulous. “I am not the one who is sailing across the sea to fight a war I cannot win! I am not the one abandoning my people! I am not the one who swears a cursed Oath, I am not one who would love only on condition!”

“Then you are untrue!” He roars.

She looks at him once more and she does not recognise him in his anger, anger she has never before witnessed. He is a stranger wearing her husband's face.

“Get out of my house, Fëanáro Curufinwë. Get out of my house and never, ever return.”

He does as she asks.

**Author's Note:**

> i almost tagged this as 'AU: Fëanor never returns from the Halls of Mandos' but then,,, i remembered that's just canon


End file.
